The Straw Hat's Crimes
by TheDragonsTale
Summary: Luffy and his crew have been captured by the marines. But the Marines end up letting them go anyways, because of some stupid, stupid technicalities.


The marines had finally done it. While the Straw Hats were weakened after fighting Doflamingo, they had moved in on the Straw Hats and captured them to await trial before the Marine Court. Many pirates and surprisingly, revolutionaries, had attempted to rescue them, yet they had all been repealed. Today, on the day of the Straw Hat's execution, the marines hurry around securing all areas.

"OOOOOOOYYYYY" A loud voice rings out among the quiet grounds. "SAAAAANJIIIIIII MEEEEAAAAAT."

"Oh, hey is it morning already? Get me some sake will you?" Another voice drawls.

"SUUUUUUPEEEEEEER. Let's get some SUPER coala today." This voice was accompanied with a clang of metal.

Many marines sweat-dropped at that, given that today is the day of the Straw Hat's execution. The marines who had just been transferred to the base that day to help guard the Straw Hats stood in shock.

Meanwhile, over in the prison cells, Luffy, Zoro and Franky had just been hit over the head by an indignant Nami.

"Bakas! We need to be serious here! How are we going to escape!" Nami whispered harshly, not wanting to alert the marines.

"Heeheeheeheeheee." Luffy laughed, "Don't worry Nami, I have a plan."

Nami's eyebrow twitched, "And why should we trust whichever plan you come up with"

Luffy just smiled, "It's not my plan, it's Raleigh's. He told me to follow this plan if we ever got captured by the marines."

Nami quickly calmed down, "Then what's the plan?" She asked

"It's a mystery plan" Luffy beamed.

Usopp, who had been listening in, facepalmed, "We're screwed"

Soon after the marines got organised, the Straw Hats were brought to the bottom of the execution platform. Standing tall in front of them, the Marine Admiral spoke.

"Any last words, Straw Hat Luffy?"

Luffy nods quite seriously. "Yep," He said before yelling out to the whole crowd, "WE PLEAD INNOCENCE!"

Some of the marines laughed. "You're a pirate, of course you're not innocent." Another marine spoke up, "Don't try any schemes to buy time pirate!"

"No," The Marine Admiral said, "Legally we must give them a trial if they plead not guilty." He turned towards Luffy, "Do you object to having the trial now?" He asked.

"Nope. No problem." Luffy replied.

 _This should be over quickly,_ the marine admiral thought, "To start off with your crimes in East Blue. You had attacked a marine base holding Roronoa Zoro-"

Luffy interrupted him, "That's wrong. I only accidentally broke a statue, before they opened fire on me. Property damage is not a charge in which attacking is a legal response to, therefore, I was only defending myself."

Luffy's crew was shocked. _When did Luffy learn words like 'therefore'?_

The Admiral didn't show his astonishment. "Well you freed Roronoa Zoro who-"

The Admiral was again interrupted by Luffy, "Who was detained by a civilian son of the corrupt Captain Morgan, after defending a civilian child."

It was the Marine's turn to be shocked. The demon Zoro rescuing a child?

The Admiral was becoming slightly frantic, "You attacked many marines."

"Again, self defence." Luffy retorted.

"Theft of millions of berries"

"Nami only stole from pirates. Marines do that too."

"Overthrowing government-"

"Who have all been proven to be corrupt"

"Pillaging and stealing"

"We never stole anything, we always paid for our stuff with money we found treasure hunting. There are treasure hunters who aren't pirates who do the same thing."

"Assisting the escape of a criminal."

"None of my crew ever did any crime"

"Aha," The Admiral said, "I have you now! You assisted the escape of Nico Robin, who had destroyed many marine battleships unprovoked!"

"That was a bluff made by the marines, just ask the previous admiral. Even if she did, she was 8 at the time. Under the law, you cannot be charged with a crime under the age of 12."

The Admiral scraped through all his memories of the Straw Hat crew. He couldn't think of anything that Luffy wouldn't be able to counter. "Wait," The Marine Admiral panted, now desperate,"You had punched a World Noble."

Luffy thinks, "Oh yeah, you've got one charge of assault on me and that's it. It is not a crime punishable by execution, so if you don't mind, release me and my crew. Nami will pay my bail and we will be on our way."

They ended up doing just that. Nami paid the bail, with berries in her eyes thinking about how much interest she could put on Luffy's loan. Then thousands of marines stood there stunned as the Straw Hats peacefully sailed away. It wasn't until an hour later that a single marine spoke up.

"We really are stupid, aren't we?"


End file.
